Drown In My Despair
by Chained-Monkey
Summary: Sakura and Hinata are mutes, Gaara's abusive, Itachi's insane, Shikarmaru's hiding his potential, Neji's suicidal and Naruto's tempermental. Putting them in one room can be dangerous but Tsunade's willing to give it a shot!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:**** Drown In My Despair**

**Rated****: (M)**

**Genre(s):**** Drama/Romance**

**Coupling(s):**** GaaraXSakura, slight ItachiXSakura.**

**NarutoXHinata  
**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto._**

* * *

_The light is what they call it..._

_"Sakura, come back in to the light."_

_Ha! When I was in the "light" I was surrounded by only misery and lies._

_My friends hated me..._

_Ino, Temari, Ten-Ten... I spent my life with them. _

_Since the first day of Nursery..._

_I'm sixteen now, and I'm a mute._

_It's not that I can't talk, it's that I won't._

_Not after I was betrayed, beaten._

_I couldn't believe they had set it up...  
_

_But they had._

_They had._

_I couldn't understand why, was it because of Uchiha Sasuke?_

_Would they really go that far for him?_

_After all, even if he was Leaf High's heart throb, they wouldn't do this do me just because he was showing interest in me, would they?_

"Sakura, look..." Shizune said softly. "We're getting a bunch of kids just like you, for some confidence classes, we'd like it if you came."

_Kids like me...? Oh right. Demented, suicidal, mute, anger management, the usual._

_Let me explain;_

_My parents got sick of me, I don't blame them, not really. So they called an old friend of theirs, her name's Tsunade. She owns this huge Mental Peoples Hospital, only they sugar-coated the name._

_"The Institute For Children With Special Needs"_

_Of course, there are no children here. We're all aged from fifteen to nineteen. Most of us. Some of us are older. _

_It's not the way everyone expects it to be at these places. The expect evil little brats jumping around, somehow setting fire to objects just by glaring at them._

_We're all actually very civilized. It's the best. Nobody talks to each other, but there's almost a small pack of secrecy and trust and concern between us for each other._

_Because it was just as Shizune said._

_We were all just alike._

_Anyway, they called this Tsunade lady, and they talked about me mostly._

_'Sakura this, Sakura that, Sakura's not talking anymore, bleh bleh, blah, blah."_

_You ought to know what I mean though, right? Everybody's had their moments, when they just want to curl up in to a ball and die._

_I know I have. _

_I have them every day. All day._

_Every night. All night._

_It's not just friends that were the trouble with me though. I was also never really very confident._

_My father, real father, left us when I was five. I was expecting a good bye hug, or a goodbye kiss._

_Instead I'd received a blow to my head, a snarl and a shout of "Little Bitch" _

_It was so completely unlike my father..._

_He had always smiled softly, he'd cuddled me, he'd sang to me, he'd laughed with me, he'd taught me how to walk, how to ride my bike._

_My step father didn't help me with anything. Though I knew, he really wanted to cuddle. _

_Cuddle stark naked with his cock inside me._

_He's already tried twice._

_He thinks that may be why I turned mute. He told me during his 'private' conversations. He told me he'd like me better off mute, no screaming or fighting back. No telling my mother._

_I gripped my knees._

* * *

"Sakura, how does that sound?" Shizune had been waiting patiantly for almost fifteen minutes. 

Sakura looked up, her eyes vulnerable. She nodded softly and turned around.

Her grandfather was watching her as well. He was the only family member who ever visited her.

Slowly, she moved her fingers to her lips, then placed them on his.

He got the message.

_I love you, grampa._

He mimicked her actions, before planting a kiss on her forehead.

He used to tease her a lot about it. He didn't anymore... He didn't have the heart too.

"Good bye sweetheart," he said softly. "I'll be back next week."

It was the only time he _could_ be back.

He brought her sweets as well.

Nice round, fat expensive ones. The sort of ones your grand fathers snuck you when your parents weren't looking, putting one in to their mouth and one in to yours.

And when your parents would turn around and your dad would ask. "Dad, are you giving her sweets again?"

You'd both shake your heads and say no.

The large sweet evident in your mouths, burbling out your answers.

Your mom would turn around in disgust while your father begged for one as well.

Sakura smiled at the memory.

She remembered a lot of things from when she was younger.

When her father lived with them.

"Sakura, you'll be in a group of seven. Your class mates will be Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata, Uchiha Itachi, Hyuuga Neji, Nara Shikarmaru and Sabaku Gaara. You're teacher is number seven, by the way Sakura. Kakashi Hatake." she took her leave, not noticing the stricken look in Sakura's eyes.

_Uchiha Itachi..._

_"I don't want to talk about it." muttered Sasuke._

_Sabaku Gaara..._

_"He was insane, he couldn't go without seeing blood. He almost killed the neighbours kid because he'd gotten a splinter and there wasn't __enough __blood." said Temari, hugging her pillow. _

_Oh My God..._

_"My brother was a muderer." said Sasuke/Temari._

---

Cat (Shrugs at you lot) This one's for Gale. (Amused at herself) Perhaps writing about friends betraying the main character isn't the best way to Celebrate One Year of being friends, but it's a... GAARAXSAKURA!!

She's been like a sister to me, a non-blood sister who lives all the way in America! n.n;

So Gale, YOU HAD BETTER STOP PICTURE EDITING AND START REVIEWING, DO YOU HEAR ME??? xD

Same to the rest of you! REVIEW FOR ME! LOVE ME! WORSHIP ME! (Cackles)

Alex:...(Disposes of coffee)

_ Chained and Tortured/ChainedMonkey_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:**** Drown In My Despair**

**Rated****: (M)**

**Genre(s):**** Drama/Romance**

**Coupling(s):**** GaaraXSakura, slight ItachiXSakura.**

**NarutoXHinata**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**Stats:**

**Favourites: 20**

**Alerts: 31  
**

**Reviews: 27  
**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto._**

**_-.-.-.-.-.-.-_**

Sakura paced in her small room, her eyelids heavy, her head throbbing. Her entire body was aching, yet her thoughts kept her from sleeping.

_'Itachi... Gaara...'_

What am I going to do? She sat down on her bed. Her eyes locked on the ground dreamily.

_'It might be nice. It might be like... Sasuke... Temari... A connection.'_

No. She didn't need a connection... She didn't need anything. She held her cheeeks in her hands, her fingertips cold against her face, she ran them to her temples, wiping away traces of sweat. She pressed her fingers against her temples, hard. She wondered if she looked very bad, not sleeping all night. It wasn't as though she had never stayed up all night before...

_"Sakure, please get some sleep." said her mother ina pleading voice._

_Sakura wasn't sure what the time was. She lay in her bed, her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. A poster of the lead singer of the current hottest boyband staring right back at her. She remembered her step fathers help getting it up there. She had been sitting on his shoulders. He had seemed so nice... Before he had married her mother._

_She didn't want to close her eyes... She'd dream those horrible dreams._

_Her mother was out when it had happened, she had been in the kitchen, looking through the fridge when she'd been pushed, her cheek against the wall. There was something... Something pressing into her back... She was about to scream._

_"It's only me, Sakura." her step fathers voice filled her ears. "So baby, fourteen, huh? That makes you a bit of a big girl." He gripped both of her small wrists in one of his hands, holding them above her._

_Sakura didn't understand what was happening. Why was she pressed pinned to the wall like this? Why was his voice so...Edgy?_

_Her mind jammed, when one of his hands ran up to her legs. She was wearing a skirt. She always wore skirts, or shorts at home. Her breathing became faster but she couldn't move herself at all. She could feel the bulge at her back becoming harder. His fingers were at the hem of her panties._

_"No." She finally found her voice. "No, let me go. I'll tell my mother." Her voice was trembling. "Let me go. I'll scream. The neighbours will hear me. They'll hear me." Her voice was getting stronger and louder with every word._

_"Your mother's so happy after such a long time, baby."_

_She bit her lip, trying to not to groan when his fingers ran along her pussy. "No... Let me go. Let me go!" she yelled, struggling._

_"You're going to fuck up your mother's happiness? She used to cry every single night."_

_Sakura's mouth went dry, she froze again._

_"Want to know why? No money, baby. No,money. Loads of bills. Who's got the money, baby? I've got it. I'm what's making your mommy so happy. You wanna make her cry?"_

_No... That wasn't what she wanted. Her mother was trying so hard._

_"That's a good girl. You'll like this, you'll like what daddy's gonna do to you, how daddy's gonna make you feel."_

_"You- You're not my daddy." she sobbed. "You're not my daddy."_

_He didn't seem to be hearing her anymore, he let go of her wrists and stopped what he was doing. Slowly letself slip to her knees, he head against the wall. Hot tears streaming down her cheeks._

_"You like wearing short, tight t-shirts, don't you? You little whore. This is what you want. Teasing me every second."_

_The phone started ringing, he didn't make a single move to answer it._

Sakuras eyes flew open, she sat up in her small bed. She'd dozed off, she'd dozed off and had a nightmare. Coming to terms with this she ran her hands through her hair._ 'Only a dream, only a dream, only a dream.'_ her thoughts seemed to be echoing inside her head.

There was a knock on her door.

"Sakura, wake up." A young girls voice sounded, it sounded muffled. "Breakfast in fifteen."

Sakura knocked on her wall three times. _I'm awake._

There was a soft click. She had unlocked the door but she didn't open it. "Did you get any sleep?"

Three more knocks. _I'm awake._

"Alriggght, then. I understand, God."

Sakura sighed to herself. This new girl had only started working here a few weeks ago, but in her opinion she was by far the most annoying. Not because of her persistant questioning to get something out of the patients but because she seemed to actually _care_.

She got out of her bed and walked out of her small room, closing the door behind herself. Someone bumped into her and she turned around to see another patient, somewhat older then her. She gave Sakura an apaologetic smile before carrying on, frowning at this she followed the girl to the bathrooms.

Her mind was racing as she brushed teeth.

_Gaara, Itachi..._

No, she had to think about something else, atleast for the time being. Her teacher, _Hatake Kakashi _she had heard _that_ name before as well, but she couldn't recall where so while she showered and changed she kept herself occupied with the name of her soon to be teacher. By the time she was done and making her way to the Cafeteria she wasn't getting anything except a headache.

"Hatake Kakashi's teaching them,"

"What? Is Tsunade completely mad?" the voice was full of shock.

She stopped, raising her eyebrows. The dinner ladies were talking.

"Well she must believe he's changed."

"Changed? Men like that never change Ikari. Sweet Lord, the children are bad enough but a teacher like... Aren't the students...?"

"Miko, don't over react." Ikari, the over weight but sweet dinner lady was stirring something. They hadn't seemed to notice Sakura yet and she had to strain to listen to them over the pulling of chairs and the chattering, though small as it was. "Tsunade must know what she's doing."

"Didn't you hear what he did to that young girl?"

"Miko..."

"Raped her complet-"as she turning to open the fridge her eyes rested on Sakura. Her entire posture changed from a worried woman to a defensive, angry one. "What are you doing standing here? Don't you know it's impolite to eavesdrop?"

Sakura stared at her. _Raped her completely..._

_'Oh, fantastic... Two killers and a pedophile...'_

She was going to start screaming, she was going to start screaming and running at the nearest window and fling herself off of it._ Goodbye world, goodbye problems. _She was just about to make a run for it when a hand was placed on both her shoulders. She looked up and began to wish she hadn't.

That great big face with that great big smile and that dirty white head of hair.

_Jiraiya._

She scowled at him. He worked in Tsunade's Institute as a counceller but his councelling could use work. Sakura guessed Tsunade either liked him or felt sorry for him to still allow him to work here. She glared up at him. _What do you want?_

"That's my girl, haven't been causing trouble have you?" He raised is eyebrows to the flustered dinner lady.

"N-no, Jiraiya. She hasn't." the woman looked at her, then sighed and turned her back to both of them.

"How about we have breakfast together?" Offered Jiraiya and even though he was speaking to Sakura, his eyes were fixated on the Miko round bum. Sakura felt him tigethen his grip on her and he leaved over her.

This was another reason she disliked him...

Sighing, she put her hands on his, pulling him to a spare table. It wasn't difficult, he seemed in a sort of trance. Sakura didn't even want to think about it...

"Wait, food! Miko, food!" yelled Jiraiya as he realized Sakura had just moved him.

Ikari started giggling at Mikos annoyed look and picked up two trays, bringing them over to Sakura and Jiraiyas table, where they were both seated. "she's just angry because she didn't get any last night,"

"I can help with that." grinned Jiraiya, waving at her. Sakura stared down at her food. She looked around and a few pairs of eyes were on her, sympathetically. There were just under two hundred people in the entire institute, so basically it was like a small school and even though mpost of the seats were cleared there were still a decent amount of people left. She felt her face go red.

Jiraiya seemed to notice and much to her relief decided to make this less painful. "I argued with Tsunade that you weren't ready to start a class like this."

She looked up and stared at him.

"I don't know much about many of the other students but I do know a small amount which I would like to share with you," his eyes met hers and he held the gaze more sternly then Sakura had ever seen. "Shikamaru-" He was cut off when she stated waving her hands around. He stared at her. "What?"

She placed one hand in the middle of the table, then her other hand above it.

_Higher._

He frowned and reached into his pocket, pulling out a pen and paper. "Why didn't you bother learning sign language again?"

She picked up the pen and began scribbling, then held it up to him; **Because I can talk.**

"Well then, why won't you?" his brows furrowed together.

Sakura smiled at him, hhe smiled back and she began writing again, when she held it back up his smile fell;** Not enough paper to explain.**

He yawned, trying to mask his disappointment. He thought she'd finally open upto him.

**Tell me about Uchiha Itachi.**

He eyed her suspiciously."Because of Sasuke?" He laughed when he caught her glare. "Come on sunshine. Alright, alright." He frowned wondering where to start. "There isn't much information I can give you that can't just be found anywhere. At the age of twelve Itachi already graduated high school and was studying into his second year of College."

Sakura's eyes widened at this. Sasuke had always been top of the class, both their grades equally matched. He'd get more points in English, she'd get more in Maths, he'd Excel at Sports whereas Sakura's Social Studies paper would pwn his, etc etc. She knew this as they were the most talked about tudents. Well... Sasuke was always most talked about because of his natural good looks. Though he was good, he wasn't good enough to pass a year or two.

"Nobody's very sure about the details but on the Eve of his thirteenth birthday his parents threw a large house party, inviting the most well known and better off residents of Konoha. The grown-ups were all in the great hall of the mansion and the children were outside in the back."

Sakura had seen the inside of the Mansion and she had seen the garden. Well she couldn't call it a agarden, more like a park... And the mansion from the inside...

"Itachi was the most handsome boy in the room. Itachi took three girls, his age. Charming them with his good lucks he asked him to follow them, probably to show them something. He took them through the back doors, towards the railway station, considering it was a national holiday he knew the trains weren't running- Konoha day." he said when he caught Sakuras confused gaze. "He... He confessed the rest. He'd over heard them talking, that they would _die_ for the chance to kiss him. His uncle had sent him a set of kunais for his birthday, he said he thought it was the perfect oppertunity to test them out, he took a tape recorder with him as well. He went home, leaving the bodies outside the station, he went to the police station, his clothes soaked with blood and confessed.

His case was argued outragously. It was why he didn't recieve a death sentence. He recorded their last words. I can't remember what they were specifically but it was argued incredibly. His parents also had a lot of money and influence, anyone else and the court case might not even have been necassary a death sentence would have been placed straight away. Sakura?"

She was staring at him, but not seeing him, her hands went down to the piece of paper and pen again and she scribbled down another line but before she could finish Tsunade had called her name. "Sakura, come on." Sakura looked up at her. "It's time for class the other students are already here, I'm going to escort you personally." She placed her hand on Sakura's shoulder and Sakura stared into her eyes, she saw staring back the most cold hearted woman she had ever laid eyes upon. Why would a woman like this open a place like this? Which gave so much hope and was a home to people like Sakura? Why would she let two killers and a pedophile into a room filled with- well, she hoped, innocent children?

"Goodluck kiddo."

Luck? She didn't need luck, luck didn't do the dead any good.

_But thank you anyway Jiraiya._

As she got up, with Tsunade's hand firmly gripping her shoulder she didn't need to look up to know every pair of eyes in the Cafeteria were fixated on her.

* * *

CAT: -Grins.- Well, eh, so Kakashi's a pedo. Oh come on guyyyys. I needed some more material-

Alex: Cos what you had already wasn't fucked up enough?

CAT: -Ignores Alex.- Well, anywayy. Review and I just might add another one before July-

Alex: You've already written nearly all of it dow-

M.L: -Presses hand to Alex's mouth.- Stfu asshole, that's a secret.

CAT: . 3.; Send me some wicked reviews please? I wanted to respond to a lot of the last ones but I didn't know if you guys would have liked that.

So if you don't mind your review being responded to just put an 'x' at the end of your review and have a nice day! n.n;

M.L: -Eyeing CAT- ...Someone got laid.

CAT: . 3.;;; ...Zever.

M.L: -Gasp- WHORE.

Alex: (o.o) ...Review, REVIEW, REVIEEEEWWWWWWWW!


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